Grandmother

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#663399" TEXT="#080000" background="01ed4c00erkjbi.png"> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH="95" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 46 WIDTH="91"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="46" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="91" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <div> <B>She Cradles</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.mnh.si.edu/arctic/features/yupik/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.mnh.si.edu/arctic/features/yu"><U><I>Agayuliyaraput</I></U></A><I> - Our Way of Making Prayer</I><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" ><I> </I></FONT><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <div> <IMG SRC="16b919f0.jpg" border=0 width="145" height="159" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Valerie Kameroff</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id67_m.htm#song" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Grandmother"><U><B>The Ancient Song</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id67_m.htm#speaks" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Grandmother"><U><B>How Grandmother Speaks</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id67_m.htm#trees" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Grandmother"><U><B>The Message of Trees</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id67_m.htm#cradles" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Grandmother"><U><B>She Cradles</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id67_m.htm#ground" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Grandmother"><U><B>On This Ground</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id67_m.htm#deathbed" TARGET="TRLX_Middle" TITLE="Grandmother"><U><B>The Dream of My Mother's Deathbed</B></U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#FFCCB2" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>The Ancient Song</B><B> <A NAME="song"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></div> <bR> <div> Grandmother     the Old One</div> <div> She shuffles close   beside me</div> <div> speaking softly   repeating secrets</div> <div> of the Long Ago and of the Healing.</div> <div> She sits   in front</div> <div> of my slouched body</div> <div> peering into me</div> <div> chanting   the Ancient Song</div> <div> of Life.</div> <bR> <div> Draped in brown crape paper skin</div> <div> her hands tend the seal oil lamp</div> <div> so that I may see</div> <div> when I care to open my eyes.</div> <bR> <div> Young and stubborn</div> <div> I cling to struggle     as a lover.</div> <div> She touches my young hair</div> <div> whispering <I>ung uck gook</I>.</div> <bR> <div> All my life   her deep voice</div> <div> from Ages   and   generations</div> <div> the Old Woman  <I>ung uck gook</I></div> <div> the Medicine Woman.</div> <bR> <div> She is patient</div> <div> and waits</div> <div> for my heart</div> <div> to listen.</div> <bR> <div> <B>How Grandmother Speaks</B><B> <A NAME="speaks"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></div> <bR> <div> Something     happened</div> <div> then,    I lost the place</div> <div> I put it.</div> <div> Something     says    Something</div> <div> then leaves.</div> <div> Some Words</div> <div> Hang          in the bowl</div> <div> of my stomach</div> <div> then disappear.</div> <div> Only hinting </div> <div> when they will</div> <div> bring their sisters</div> <div> so we can eat</div> <div> and talk about</div> <div> this Magic.</div> <div> So I can ask</div> <div> What's happening to me?</div> <div> Of what has been taken</div> <div> of my mother</div> <bR> <div> Here</div> <div> I surround myself</div> <div> with cigarettes, caffeine,</div> <div> books, and excuses</div> <div> of the rent</div> <bR> <div> This Magic</div> <div> This Miracle</div> <div> struggling for its</div> <div> own survival</div> <div> steals thoughts</div> <div> begs   for a moment</div> <div> of my time.</div> <bR> <div> I cannot turn    again</div> <div> to the place</div> <div> where the souls</div> <div> of my feet</div> <div> will gather</div> <div> ashes</div> <div> and </div> <div> dust.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>The Message of Trees</B><B> <A NAME="trees"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></div> <bR> <div> I</div> <div> gathered </div> <div> myself</div> <div> among the trees</div> <div> today.</div> <div> Cross legged</div> <div> holding</div> <div> my breath</div> <div> listening</div> <div> for their message.</div> <div> “Nothing urgent”,</div> <div> they laughed,</div> <div> “We</div> <div> just wanted </div> <div> to see your</div> <div> brown hair.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>She Cradles</B><B> <A NAME="cradles"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> This is my Motherland.</div> <div> This is the womb.</div> <div> She has cradled me</div> <div> and all of my ancestors.</div> <div> She carries the basket</div> <div> full</div> <div> of our memories</div> <div> together.</div> <bR> <div> I will stand</div> <div> here</div> <div> in front of everyone</div> <div> and sing</div> <div> loudly</div> <div> my birthsong</div> <div> the one she sent </div> <div> from the water.</div> <bR> <div> I will stand HERE</div> <div> in her wounds</div> <div> from screeching steel</div> <div> and cement</div> <div> you've called gifts.</div> <bR> <div> I will stand</div> <div> and sing</div> <div> My blood is</div> <div> her blood.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>On This Ground</B><B> <A NAME="ground"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></div> <bR> <div> On this ground</div> <div> I have swayed</div> <div> in silences</div> <bR> <div> the trees</div> <div> remembering my brown hands.</div> <div> Pulsating drums</div> <div> I can hear them</div> <div> in a far off distance</div> <div> with my eyes closed</div> <div> to the street lamps.</div> <bR> <div> My vibrations</div> <div> have taken shape</div> <div> and solidified in my bones.</div> <div> I am the miracle</div> <div> my ancestors have concentrated</div> <div> into being,</div> <div> a solid truth,</div> <div> listening    for the next steps.</div> <div> She is taking up her fire</div> <div> bringing her    Self</div> <div> to dance in the glow</div> <div> of her Rhythm.</div> <div> Rising to her feet</div> <div> with magic in her hand</div> <bR> <div> She quit asking.</div> <div> she quit begging.</div> <bR> <div> The Moon has slanted.</div> <div> The Balance is here.</div> <bR> <div> She is taking up her </div> <div> Heaviness</div> <div> this new offering</div> <div> to her Grandmothers</div> <div> to her Children.</div> <bR> <div> The Song is flowing rich now.</div> <div> The Creator whispers</div> <div> We are all here</div> <div> Now</div> <div> We are all here.</div> <bR> <div> <B>The Dream of My Mother's Deathbed</B><B> <A NAME="deathbed"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> I had a dream</div> <div> of my mother's deathbed.</div> <div> Beside her I held her hand</div> <div> Gently</div> <div> her every breath</div> <div> swelling my stomach </div> <div> to my throat.</div> <div> Black hair</div> <div> Streaked grey</div> <div> Black eyes</div> <div> Faint   watered down</div> <div> her clay earthen softness</div> <div> streaming from my eyes.</div> <div> I curled up inside her image</div> <div> the child she held.</div> <div> she would chew dried seal meat for me</div> <div> to distract me</div> <div> from her milk.</div> <div> My heavy head rested again</div> <div> on her pillow breasts.</div> <div> I stood</div> <div> weaned.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>About the author</B></div> <div> Valerie Kameroff, a Yupik Eskimo woman, a bright shooting star, lived too briefly, among us for only 25 precious years. She left friends, poems and strong memories.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dec 04"><U><B>site guide</B></U></A></div> </td> </tr></table></body>