Once there was a man who spent his days crying out,” I am a worm. I am a worm.” He wandered from this place to that. He eventually came to a field where he lay down weeping against the ground, sobbing, carrying on, hitting himself in the head and crying out,” I am a worm. I am a worm.”

It happened that a worm resting in the grass near him heard his cries. The worm raced as fast as a worm can into a tunnel of earth, though roots, seeds and the like until he came to the gathering place of worms. He was ranting by the time he got there and the other worms assembled before him to see what could be the matter.

“One of those huge beasts that steps on us all the time without even a notice is up there shouting, `I am a worm. I am a worm.' Who the hell does he think he is pretending to be one of us, that arrogant so and so!”

We live much our lives in false identities. A humble person does not have to diminish himself or puff himself up. Humble people are like rivers that bend and flow and transform themselves all the while remaining who they are. Humility is acceptance of who we really are. A worm is a worm, each one a tiller of the soil. We are individual human beings and we do what we do. Both the worm and the man in this story do have a similar more deeply authentic identity. They are both children of God.

We would like to experience integrity of heart and mind; however in the human condition this is rare. Humans frequently experience violent emotions, conflicted states, erratic or unaware behaviors. We fool ourselves all the time. We can easily use our spiritual lives to prop up our petty egos. It is a circus in which humility and humor are the best solutions.

Humor is the opposite of perfectionism which drives us away from ourselves. Perfectionism is a stumbling block to transformation. Humor is a path on the transforming journey.

What if a fellow companion is of a nationality, race or sect which has harmed your people? You may try to be present, but you repress your natural instincts to go for his throat, knowing this is not a “spiritual” attitude. You suffer with this, and so does everyone else around you, with your brooding or sarcastic comments. In this situation neither blaming others nor shaming ourselves is profitable or realistic. It is simply a very big cauldron to be cooked in until the greater transformation is complete.

If a companion of the Fourth Order has a bipolar condition we know we can expect several different behaviors from him. But what of the war veteran who alternates between chauvinistic

The Rule

The rule is this.

If you are ripping yourself to shreds,

It is not him.

The second rule is this.

If you have made yourself safe,

It is not love.

Holy Madness

patriotism and distrust of his government which may have treated soldiers badly, even intentionally harmed them in radiation or chemical experiments, vaccination, LSD interrogations or with Depleted Uranium. Or the feminist who has begun to experience tantric love. Or someone who has fallen in love with a married person. These oppositions, conflicts, inconsistencies, or morally suspect things that we live with are our teachers.

What this implies about the nature of the divine in whose image we are made, or from whose stuff we are formed, or who occupies every cell of our being, or dwells in us as us; we can only ponder.